Things I've Learned as a Mother.

I thought I should make this post specific to 'stay-at-home moms', but the more I thought about what I wanted to say, the more I realized that ALL mothers can probably relate, whether they're working outside the home or not.  For the record, I've done both and I honestly can't tell you which one has less stress... it's a toss-up everyday.

Things I've Learned As A Mother:

1) When the children are home but there is silence in the house, be afraid.  Be very afraid.  Silence is not always golden, sometimes it immediately precedes a massive clean-up.

2) Sometimes, the only meal you get to eat is whatever was left on your child's plate.  Is anyone else tired of peanut butter and jelly crusts?

3) Despite your best efforts to bring only QUIET toys into the house, the children will find a way to make them noisy.  Thank goodness for Tylenol coupons.

4) While dads make great jungle gyms for children, the playmate of choice is almost always going to be mommy.  This is especially infuriating when daddy is allowed to take a nap on the couch uninterrupted but mommy cannot go to the bathroom in peace because the Lego town must be constructed.

5) To get 5 minutes of peace, telling your child that Elmo will be coming to the window to distract them is a dirty trick.  And it only works once.

6) Never tell another mother that you would NEVER do something with your children that she is doing with hers because you will almost always make the same choice when it is presented to you.  Instead of judging, we should just support.

7) When you do the thing you swore you would never do, don't beat yourself up about it.  And take that other mother out for lunch.

8) Remember that just because you love your children, that doesn't mean you love all children.  When your children have friends over and they are driving you insane, remember that you aren't required to think only happy thoughts about them, and then count the minutes until they go home.

9) When a friend of your children seems to spend too much time at your house, remember that it may be because their house isn't as warm as yours.

10) Whether you are a working mother or a stay-at-home mother, your job is next-to impossible.  Don't judge the other side because they know your struggle too.

11) There is very little joy in hearing the words, 'Noah is throwing toys in the fish tank'.  There is also very little joy in saying the words, 'Stop licking your brother's arm.' But re-telling those stories to other parents will bring them joy, I guarantee it.

There's more.  There's oh so much more.  But my children are being quiet so I need to get the mop out.