I Am A Multi-Tasking Professional

By now, I'm sure you've all seen a billion blog posts about resolutions and goals and motivation to do awesome things in the New Year.  I'm completely on board with everyone's resolutions, but I have to be honest here: these resolutions and goals are going to take a tremendous amount of multi-tasking.  Which I happen to be an expert at.  Please read the following examples of my multi-tasking abilities.

I can read an entire issue of Good Housekeeping while also ignoring my husband.

I can watch daytime talk shows while eating chocolate.  And I'm not just talking about the 'easy' chocolates, like M&Ms... complicated chocolate that has caramel and nougat in it.

I can listen to my husband vacuum and watch The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

I can procrastinate folding laundry while simultaneously putting off doing the dishes.

I can watch Martha Stewart on the television and watch reruns of The Office on Netflix on my computer.

I can give myself hot glue burns while also accidentally sticking myself with a pin.

I can dry my nail polish at the same time as I'm taking a nap.

I can eat brownies and ice cream at the same time.

I hope none of this makes you feel inferior, that was certainly not my intent.  You have to practice multi-tasking for years to get to my level.  I want you to know that you can do this.  Keep working at it.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to be awesome and terrific at the same time, which takes all my energy.