Apocalypse Monday - Paper Clips

Paper clips are so necessary for the apocalypse.  I mean, they're necessary anyway and when you add flesh-hungry zombies into the mix, they're ultra-necessary.  Here's why:

1.  Paper clip necklaces.  Don't pretend like you don't make these, they're awesome.  We could even use color clips like you see in the picture and only our friends would get the same color as us.  It's gonna be so elementary school up in here.


2.  Keeping your zombie documents together.  I mean, I assume you're all printing every one of these posts out so you'll be ready for the apocalypse.  Don't wait until it happens, because printers are noisy and will attract the undead.  Use your handy-dandy paper clips to keep all this information in one wind-proof stack.  And I know what you're thinking: Why wouldn't I just use staples?  DID YOU NOT HEAR WHAT I SAID ABOUT NOISE?  ZOMBIES HEAR A STAPLER AND IT'S LIKE YOU RANG THE DINNER BELL.


3.  Paper clip dominoes.  We've talked about how important it is to stave off boredom.  Create your own game of dominoes with color paper clips and let the fun wash over you.


4.  With a quick movement, your paper clip can become a weapon.  It's like a tiny little Swiss Army Knife except it will mostly just hurt you trying to bend the thing into said weapon.


5.  If you unfold the paper clip, you can pretend it's a little person.  Put on a fun puppet show, one about how everyone has been eaten by zombies, also portrayed by paper clips.


6.  If you run out of bobby pins, these work great holding your hair back.  You're just as beautiful after the zombies as you were before.  In fact, you're probably prettier since everyone else is covered in their own blood and zombie vomit.


7.  We should always try to create art with our survival items and paper clips are no exception.  Have you seen the pin on how to make the Eiffel Tower out of paper clips?  That should keep you busy for the rest of ever.


8.  Once the apocalypse happens, all of our rulers will be confiscated.  I'm not sure why, it's some sort of federal mandate.  So, the unit of measurement will become paper clips.  You'll thank me when you need to know how wide that picture frame is.


9.  If you've been invited to a zombie-free sweet sixteen party, these little clips make great earrings in a pinch.  And of course, you can fashion a bracelet and that necklace to complete the ensemble.  You'll be a fashion trendsetter.


10.  Since all your spare change will have been stolen during the first crazed days of the disaster, these paper clips will be great for scratching off all those lottery tickets that were left at the gas station when you tried to loot it.  If you win, I want a cut.


Until next time, survivors.


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