Apocalypse Monday - Q-Tips

Q-Tips are terrific little things, aren't they?  I mean, they're skinny, so you can carry a bunch of them in your survival pouch... and they have so many uses.  Observe:

1.  I'm not sure why, but earwax is going to be a plague upon the post-apocalyptic world.  Stock up on these and people will be clamoring at your door to buy them.  When they ask the price, make sure you say it loudly because their ears are filled with wax.

2.  Playtime with the kids is going to get pretty depressing.  I mean, there's only so much fun you can have with a zombie corpse before the smell gets unbearable.  But a couple of q-tips under your upper lip, and you're a walrus! Playtime just became fun again!

3.  I saw this thing on Pinterest where you can make a bow out of a popsicle stick and use q-tips for arrows.  Would this not be a terrific date-night activity?!  AIM FOR HIS EYES.

4.  Q-tips are essential for crafting.  Cut them in half and stick them into a foam ball for a pretty flower craft, or use them to make a skeleton on construction paper.  Well, I know how I'm going to spend my apocalypse, at least.

5.  Q-tips are great cleaning tools.  Wait, let me rephrase that: Q-tips are great cleaning tools when your teenager stayed out past curfew and needs to be punished with a really tedious task.  If you play those 'we thought you had been eaten' cards right, your bathroom should sparkle in no time.

6.  A great pastime during the apocalypse will be family games.  Make yourself a maze out of q-tips and see who solves it fastest.  Here's your strategy: if you solve it fastest, it's 'cause you're awesome... if you don't, it's 'cause you let them win.  You are a hero either way.

7.  When you're zombie-hunting, carry around a baggie of q-tips with the ends soaked in laundry detergent.  When you get some zombie-goo on you (and isn't that always how it goes?), use your little q-tip to prevent that stain from getting set-in.  You'll thank me.

8.  Q-tips are great for getting your nail polish just right during a manicure.  Said by the woman who hasn't had a manicure IN YEARS.  Not that I'm bitter.

Until next time survivors,

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