WHEN HAVE I EVER BEEN UPLIFTING?
Never. That's when. So, in keeping with my true self, I've decided to post the letter I'm writing to Santa this year. I'm sure he's on facebook, so I'll just message him. Here it is:
Dear Santa,
WHAT GIVES? I have made lots of Christmas lists over the years and I rarely get what I'm asking for. AND I'VE BEEN GOOD, TOO. Remember when Dave forgot my birthday... TWO YEARS IN A ROW? I didn't punch him in the throat. And I probably could have. But I showed restraint... AND MY CHRISTMAS GIFTS HAVE NOT REFLECTED THAT RESTRAINT. Let's go through some presents, shall we?
Remember when I asked for a Barbie Dreamhouse? Oh, how I wanted that dreamhouse... with the matching Barbie and Ken doll... and what did you bring me? SOAP SHAPED LIKE THE SEVEN DWARVES. Unacceptable.
Or how about the year I wanted some new clothes? Nothing fancy, just a few nice things to wear to school. What was under the tree for me that year? A BELT. While it was in the 'clothing' category, I'm afraid it's still unacceptable.
And we can't forget the year when all I wanted was one of those pretty blankets I saw at the mall. It was so soft and pretty, and extremely reasonably priced. It would have been the present of the year. And what did I get? Puppets of the Three Little Pigs. I WAS FOURTEEN. WHAT THE CRAP WAS THAT ABOUT?
Listen Santa, I'm sure I sound greedy. THAT'S BECAUSE I AM. But we can negotiate: Bring me a blender and no one will get hurt. You have until Christmas morning.
Sincerely yours,
Priscilla
Priscilla, love it! Thanks for making me smile. Which blender - The Ninja? Tell him I need one too.
ReplyDeleteI needed to read something that would make me giggle...and this certainly did. Santa certainly has a wonderful sense of humor, doesn't he? The seven dwarfs in soap form, huh? Ha! I found another thing we have in common...care to guess what my husband's name is?
ReplyDeleteIt seems like you could find a great crafting project for Three Little Pigs puppets and the Seven Dwarf soaps! :) Seriously, I really wish you get a blender. Seems like the least he could do. xoxo. Hope you are feeling better, friend.
ReplyDeleteP., I needed a good chuckle this afternoon! Thanks. Bernie
ReplyDeleteHehe, he's usually pretty nice to me. Then again, I actually like getting socks! :)
ReplyDeleteDear Santa,
ReplyDeletePlease stop jacking around the P-dog! Not only do you owe her a blender, bring her one of those Kitchen Aid thingamickbobs! And while you're at it one of those Circuit type dilly-os. Yeah, and some chocolate, the good stuff not that crap made from left over crappy chocolate Easter bunnies. You know, the ones with the dead blue eye...just creepy! And make it snappy! Let's agree on, say the 25th of this month, k?
No worries, I can talk to the fat man like this...because I haven't see jack in years!
Merry Christmas!!! : )
Hope you get all that you want this year.
ReplyDeleteI remember asking for a flute (Ilove flute music) and got a guitar in stead.
Carolx