Since I've been sick, I've had a lot of time to lay down and think. About everything. For example, just the other day I had a long conversation with myself about why hovercars aren't around yet. When I was a child, all the sci-fi movies about the not-too-distant future promised me hovercars. And since I've been disappointed with the lack of hovercars, which filmmaker should I sue? I need to continue thinking about this.
But while I was in the midst of my hovercraft-sadness, I thought about how I can be useful even though I don't want to get out of bed. Here are things I am good at, even if I'm not upright:
1. Celebrity critic - I have a lot of opinions about celebrities, mostly ones from Bravo TV's reality show lineup. I feel like it might be my duty to the world to fix these people.
2. Creating new workouts - Specifically, I can create a workout for people who don't want to get out of bed. My favorite exercise was when I put the remote just slightly out of my reach and then had to really work to get it back. In the interest of full-disclosure though, I finally called the hubs in to get it for me.
3. Rating smells - This pregnancy has made my sense of smell really intensified. I can, without difficulty, tell you if something smells awful. My research hasn't been expanded beyond my home and family, but from what I've learned I can share that everything smells terrible. Just... terrible.
4. Crying over nothing - I am so good at this. Last week, I cried because we didn't have any cheese. It was a sad day, indeed.
5. Answering every question with a movie title - I am pretty darn good at this, too. I did this with my sister a few weeks ago and the best part was, she didn't even notice. Which probably means that she wasn't listening in the first place, but I'd rather believe that I was just really good at the game. Did I enjoy myself when I was playing this game? Casino Royale.
6. Renaming animals - I think some animals need better names. In fact, I've never been fond of the term 'birds'. Rather, I think they should be called 'flappy things'. Much more descriptive, no?
7. Eating - I AM AMAZING AT THIS. I can eat just about anything at anytime. Of course, as I mentioned in #4, I can also cry if I don't get the food I want. Pregnancy is a heck of a thing.
You had no idea I was this talented, did you? Pregnancy has done this to me and my family will never be the same.
I'm glad you are feeling up to doing so much, hosting a parasite is exhausting work! Thank you for sharing your extensive list of new activities! I will have to try some of these out, as I am sure I am going to be quite skilled at most of them. Particularly 2, 3, 4 & 7. I have come to realize that when you begin menopause you get a lot of the same super powers of gestating aliens, however the end for you is 9 months and I hope mine with end within the next 9 years...sigh I think I will just go back to bed after that thought!
ReplyDeleteThe crying makes me laugh. When I was pregnant I went to Starbucks and got a decaf white chocolate mocha. We had gone through the drive thru and it was super hot. I got home and it was finally cool enough to take a sip. They forgot the white chocolate! My husband had a non-decaf one but since it was my first pregnancy I was sure the caffeine would be harmful so I wouldn't drink his. He could tell I was really bummed. I was staring out the window and the tears started streaming down. I turned around and I think that's when it hit my husband that I was undeniably insane. He handled it well and offered to go get me another one. It was too late though. My entire weekend was ruined. I seriously cried the entire weekend about my mocha. I wrote Starbucks a scathing email and they didn't even send me a coupon for a free drink. I boycotted Starbucks for a couple of years until I discovered their peppermint white chocolate mocha. At least I can laugh at it now!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry about your cheese.
Welcome back. It's amazing how much is "forgiven" when babies are involved... I remember the crying, and craving, and spitting well. Yeah, I was a camel when preggo. Hightened senses equals horrible taste in mouth equals couldn't bring myself to swallow my own spit. Shudder.
ReplyDeleteHere's to a healthy incubation and may all your cravings come true! Congrats.