Monday, May 6, 2013

Things I Can Do While I Feel Horrible

Hello again! Thanks for all your well-wishes about the sea monkey that is sucking the life out of me.  Really, it's been so great to hear from all of you and it's taking my mind off the vampire who is absorbing all my favorite nutrients.

Since I've been sick, I've had a lot of time to lay down and think.  About everything.  For example, just the other day I had a long conversation with myself about why hovercars aren't around yet.  When I was a child, all the sci-fi movies about the not-too-distant future promised me hovercars.  And since I've been disappointed with the lack of hovercars, which filmmaker should I sue?  I need to continue thinking about this.

But while I was in the midst of my hovercraft-sadness, I thought about how I can be useful even though I don't want to get out of bed.  Here are things I am good at, even if I'm not upright:

1.  Celebrity critic - I have a lot of opinions about celebrities, mostly ones from Bravo TV's reality show lineup.  I feel like it might be my duty to the world to fix these people.

2.  Creating new workouts - Specifically, I can create a workout for people who don't want to get out of bed.  My favorite exercise was when I put the remote just slightly out of my reach and then had to really work to get it back.  In the interest of full-disclosure though, I finally called the hubs in to get it for me.

3.  Rating smells - This pregnancy has made my sense of smell really intensified.  I can, without difficulty, tell you if something smells awful.  My research hasn't been expanded beyond my home and family, but from what I've learned I can share that everything smells terrible.  Just... terrible.

4.  Crying over nothing - I am so good at this.  Last week, I cried because we didn't have any cheese.  It was a sad day, indeed.

5.  Answering every question with a movie title - I am pretty darn good at this, too.  I did this with my sister a few weeks ago and the best part was, she didn't even notice.  Which probably means that she wasn't listening in the first place, but I'd rather believe that I was just really good at the game.  Did I enjoy myself when I was playing this game?  Casino Royale.

6.  Renaming animals - I think some animals need better names.  In fact, I've never been fond of the term 'birds'.  Rather, I think they should be called 'flappy things'.  Much more descriptive, no?

7.  Eating - I AM AMAZING AT THIS.  I can eat just about anything at anytime.  Of course, as I mentioned in #4, I can also cry if I don't get the food I want.  Pregnancy is a heck of a thing.

You had no idea I was this talented, did you?  Pregnancy has done this to me and my family will never be the same.

Thrifty Crafty Girl
I link up at these great parties!


  1. I'm glad you are feeling up to doing so much, hosting a parasite is exhausting work! Thank you for sharing your extensive list of new activities! I will have to try some of these out, as I am sure I am going to be quite skilled at most of them. Particularly 2, 3, 4 & 7. I have come to realize that when you begin menopause you get a lot of the same super powers of gestating aliens, however the end for you is 9 months and I hope mine with end within the next 9 years...sigh I think I will just go back to bed after that thought!

  2. The crying makes me laugh. When I was pregnant I went to Starbucks and got a decaf white chocolate mocha. We had gone through the drive thru and it was super hot. I got home and it was finally cool enough to take a sip. They forgot the white chocolate! My husband had a non-decaf one but since it was my first pregnancy I was sure the caffeine would be harmful so I wouldn't drink his. He could tell I was really bummed. I was staring out the window and the tears started streaming down. I turned around and I think that's when it hit my husband that I was undeniably insane. He handled it well and offered to go get me another one. It was too late though. My entire weekend was ruined. I seriously cried the entire weekend about my mocha. I wrote Starbucks a scathing email and they didn't even send me a coupon for a free drink. I boycotted Starbucks for a couple of years until I discovered their peppermint white chocolate mocha. At least I can laugh at it now!

    I'm sorry about your cheese.

  3. Welcome back. It's amazing how much is "forgiven" when babies are involved... I remember the crying, and craving, and spitting well. Yeah, I was a camel when preggo. Hightened senses equals horrible taste in mouth equals couldn't bring myself to swallow my own spit. Shudder.

    Here's to a healthy incubation and may all your cravings come true! Congrats.


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